Due to the nature of my personal testimony I have received countless emails through my website, either commenting on my testimony, expressing the hope it has given them, and often sharing their own personal stories with me. There have been several people over the years that I have done personal healing ministry with. But I would like to share an email I received recently. It is the first testimony of this particular nature, but to God it’s all the same. His Grace is sufficient.
To respect the privacy of the man I have used the proverbial “John Doe” Below is the email I received.
Hi Patti – My name is (John Doe) I too grew up in a home with sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, psychological and spiritual abuse. At age 24, I entered the gay life and became immediately sexually addicted. I went deeper into that lifestyle and began taking drugs from age 30 – 35. I was essentially re-abusing myself sexually and physically over and over…all the while trying to heal a distorted gender identity and “connect” with an abusive father and through by having sex with men. Twelve years ago this June I had an enormous break down after two years of epiphanies/revelations that brought me to a decision point for Christ. Two days after making the decision for Christ I began to decompensate and had a psychotic break. I still suffer from dissociation and a sense of separation from God, myself and others. I have suffered intensely…as I’m sure you are familiar with.
I would love for you to pray for me. I don’t know what to pray for other than for God to have mercy and to heal me. Thank you and God bless!
Thank you Pat. I look forward to speaking with you.
I did call him and we talked for about an hour. At one point he shared that he had been brought up in the church, attended Sunday school and was in the church for about 17 years, and said “Patty, in all that time I don’t ever remember anyone telling me that Jesus died for my sin!” How do you spend 17 yrs in church and not hear the most critical message that Jesus died for our sins and paid the price in full.
As people we are inclined to “rate” sin. How often have Christians quoted to a gay man of woman that “homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord?” Yes that is in the Bible, but why do we pick and choose according to our standards. Here are some other things that God hates according to Proverbs 6:16
16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, ( I think abortion comes under this category yet our tax dollars pay millions to pay for them)
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Who are you Oh one who judges! This man had a transformed life yet still struggles, mostly with unforgiveness but he is trying. I prayed and I know God did something. Not a word was in vain. I delight in any testimony of a changed life redeemed by Jesus. The details do not matter, what matters is a repentant heart and one seeking after God, for he shall be found.
How often do we quote John 3-16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever shall believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life.” It goes on to say in John 3:17 “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”
I am happy to share this testimony with you. Please listen to “ You’re Not Guilty Anymore” by Aaron Keyes.
If you know of anyone who would relate to this story please share it. I have talked to some living the gay lifestyle who have had Christians and Pastors tell them point blank that God hates them! God hates sin….period. We were all dead in our trespasses regardless of what they were, and if you are a child of God you have been saved by Grace and not of yourselves so that no man may boast.
In closing I quote Isaiah 1:18
“Come now and let us reason together,” says the Lord. “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
Written by Pat Torok