In January of this year I began working on a song that was more of a prayer/conversation with God. There are always times when God seems so near and His presence can be felt as tangible as sensing the feeling of being “Held”. I remember the last time I felt this. The date was easy, 1/2/12. On Jan 2nd, 2012 I was laying on my air mattress in my living room. I had taken communion, anointed myself as I do almost daily, and layed there just reaching and calling out to Him to be held. And I felt His presence so strong I wept as it was as I was literally in His arms for about an hour.It was as though I did not feel the mattress beneath me only the feeling of being held, which is what I was asking “Jesus just hold me.” These times of intimacy are vital to keep our love alive. Jesus is the lover of our soul. We are His Bride, His beloved. But when God withdraws is it because we’ve done some grievous sin or He has drifted from us? No never! He will never leave us or forsake us. It is we who get so caught up in our lives …even if that is doing ministry, that we can forget that the most important thing in our daily life is Jesus and not what we are doing for Him but with him. God will allow us the room to grow and wait for us to notice that he does not “feel” as near. But in fact he is within us. May we never forget that even when it feels like we are alone we do not access our relationship based on emotions but based in fact. FACT: we abide in Him and He abides in us. When I feel a distance I call out to my lover Jesus and in this case wrote my conversation with him in the form of a song.
I wrote the bridge just a half hour before recording. The last line “Jesus hold me in your arms and seal me with a kiss” He knows how genuinely I mean it and at that moment I was overwhelmed with His love. In fact in the studio we had to redo the last line as I choked on my own emotions. The song is finished and as I play it over and over it is like our dance. Abide in Him always and He shall abide in you. Through every trial, twist and turn in my life, it is that abiding truth which is the strength of my soul.
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” John 15:4
(click on the photo to listen to the song)